I have a phone interview for a college tomorrow at 3. I'm kind of freaking out because I've never had an interview before... I don't even want to go to this college but my goal is to get into all 5 colleges I applied to and this will be the 5th.  I gotta make myself sound cool: I'm a figure skater from Ethiopia but was raised in Lebanon, moved to America at age 7 and began pursuing Olympic curling at age 8. I then won 5 gold medals and met president Obama at his inauguration and sang him patriotic songs beside Aretha Franklin.

I think that will do.