Sometimes I wish that scar on my leg would grow and grow until it covered my entire body. I wouldn't have to feel anything again. A cocoon of apathy. I could just hide away from the world and be unfazed by everything that touches me.
I need to start over again. No drugs. No broken promises. No oversleeping. No spacing out during school. My heads rolling around on the ground and I need to sew it back on again with white, untainted thread. Untainted.
I think I need to start small. Obviously cut out drugs, focus on schoolwork, and maybe go out more. Like a date or something. I need to care about someone else because if I care about another person enough, I'll just fall into place right where I need to be. But...that's kind of a problem. Because I won't get a date. Maybe I should just get a dog. Or an invisible friend.
On a lighter (sort of) note, check out this website. It's hilarious but at the same time it makes you lose hope in society. People can be so utterly stupid. I might get it for my mom for her birthday...
http://notalwaysright.com
At least I'm not alone in hating the majority of society.
February 23, 2010
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